Would you study for an exam after taking the exam? So why are we expected to learn about Newborn sleep after our baby is born?

Learning about infant sleep is equally as important as learning about:

• Labour

• Feeding Options

• Pre/Post Natal Exercise & Recovery

• Infant First Aid

But is it honestly viewed that way? The sad truth is no. We are programmed to prioritise:

• Decorating the nursery

• Buying endless outfits, prams and baby toys

• Have baby showers & gender reveals

5 days after my surgery and I am sitting at my laptop typing this blog. My eyes are a little tender when looking at the screen for too long, however nothing too bad and regular breaks and some of my eye drops are doing the trick.

I spent almost 8 years deciding whether or not to get laser eye surgery. My eye sight started to deteriorate and I was becoming more and more dependant on my glasses or contacts, which just wasn’t working for me anymore. I also just really wanted to see clearly again. Not have to worry about forgetting my glasses or whether or not I had taken my contacts out after one too many wines (ah the good old days).

Last week was Maternal Mental Health week and I felt this was the right time for me to share my own parenting experience. I feel very passionately about breaking the stigma around the challenges of parenting. I want to live in a world where we can talk openly about the downs and not feel the guilt and judgement when doing so.

I’m an optimist at heart and always look for the positives in every situation. I feel we are in a much better place than we were 5/10 years ago when it comes to talking about maternal health however, we are nowhere near where we should be. I think the change starts with each and every one of us speaking more honestly and openly about our journey and not feeling the dread of what may come from doing so.

A letter to Clyde.

We finished our breastfeeding journey exactly 17 months to the day you were born. I’m so proud of us. Our journey has quite simply been one of the most beautifully emotional experiences of my life.

My eyes are full typing this as I’m experiencing some pretty deep emotions after us stopping. I had been ready to finish a few months ago however I really wanted to see us through the winter and as we mums do, I put pressure on myself to see it through. You didn’t know this but I thought that I would somehow have failed you if I didn’t reach that milestone.

I knew it was only a matter of time before I came to write this blog. I wanted to wait until I could hand on heart say the dummy was forever gone before writing it. How dramatic…but I need to set the scene for this story.

Very early on in Clyde’s life we introduced a dummy. I was in the same mind space as many parents at the start; asking myself if I should, if it would impact us establishing breastfeeding, if it would affect Clyde’s teeth/mouth or speech development however, Clyde was feeding off me constantly, it was relentless and it was my health visitor who actually spoke some real truths to me and gave me the confidence to make the decision for myself rather than what I thought others thought I should do (thank you Kirsty ).

“Orthosomnia”, the medical term for an unhealthy obsession with getting the perfect nights sleep. I personally had never heard of this term or in fact, that there was even such a condition like this that people suffered from. I first found out about it when I was the perfect candidate for the condition after having my son.

I think it’s fair to say that most people assume that as a sleep coach, I have my own sleep in order…wrong. It really wasn’t until I started training in my profession that I truly started to understand sleep, it’s function and just how important it is.

Do you ever wish that there was a magic wand or a genie in a lamp when working on your little ones sleep? If only eh?! The hard truth is that working on sleep is really challenging, asks a lot of you as a parent/human and it takes time for any sustainable improvements to fall into place.

One of the most common questions I get asked is “Do I need to work on sleep?”. The answer I always give to this is “No”.

Working on sleep is a parental choice, it is not compulsory. The internet, social media platforms, friends or family and even random people in Tesco’s may tell you differently; however here is my simple and honest take on it.

The lead up to your little one's bedtime can often feel like the last hooray of the day. The time where you are trying to get dinner sorted, tidy up the mess from the day's events, get bath’s ready, PJs sorted, milk ready. I feel tired typing this. On top of it all, our tank is partially empty from being “on top of things” throughout the day. It catches up on you. Your energy is less, your attention span decreases and enthusiasm is almost at its limit for the day and let’s be honest, you’re often just totally knackered.

10,245…officially the number of times I have typed into Google “Why won’t my baby sleep for more than 33 minutes”. Google is fantastic when used in a productive way. We are lucky to have it in many ways as it makes information much more readily accessible that it was when we were younger (disclaimer: I am an 80’s child and this may not resonate with you if you’re more of a spring chick than me - I spent my younger life constantly wondering about a lot of things or waiting until the 00’s to get the answer. Wow, I used to be patient!).

How much do we really know about someone when we click “Follow”? Sometimes we just click “follow” and it can be hard to see what the page's heart is all about. I appreciate every person that follows my page and always strive to be open and honest about the values and goals behind my social media.

My husband and I talk about this a lot. We found doing the things below really helped take the heat off of us in the early days. Like everything, it wasn’t always perfect however, it did make a huge difference to how well our days went when we kept to this mindset.

The 5 baby sleep essentials I could have not done without.