Do I Really Need to Work on Sleep?
One of the most common questions I get asked is “Do I need to work on sleep?”. The answer I always give to this is “No”.
Working on sleep is a parental choice, it is not compulsory. The internet, social media platforms, friends or family and even random people in Tesco’s may tell you differently; however here is my simple and honest take on it.
Working on sleep is challenging. It takes total commitment from you as a parent(s) and a lot of resilience to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you are knackered and just want an hour's sleep. I have this honest discussion with all parents during my discovery calls. To see the best results, you need to be all in. Some may argue with me on this one however this is my advice given my experience and where I have seen all of the best and most importantly, long term improvements happen.
Sleep support/coaching/training also gets a huge amount of bad press. Often because it is given by people using their opinion rather than the science, research and hard facts. It is however, a very controversial subject and it does need to be understood and applied properly for it to be safe and effective, not ask too much of your baby or you and to have long term, sustainable results. *That’s twice now that I have mentioned long term results/sustainable improvements. This is by far one of the most important personal goals I set for myself as a Sleep Coach when working with families. If you choose me, my goal is to not only help you with your goal but to ensure we create a routine/find tools that allows you to live your life to the fullest and not be ruled by sleep.
If you are thinking about whether or not you need to work on your little one's sleep, I give you these 3 questions which will hopefully help in your decision.
How is your sleep problem impacting you and your family? Is this a short term blip (teething/illness/growth spurt) and can you see a way back to some sort of normality soon? Or are you lost, beyond tired and confused as to what to do to make things better or at a point where you feel things might be okay but you want them to be better? Being super clear on your current situation is so important when considering if/if not to work on your little one's sleep.
Who is the driving force behind you wanting to work on sleep? I mentioned this earlier. If the external influence is what’s pushing you to work on sleep, think hard about your own commitment to it. If you do not feel it’s needed or you are not ready to commit to working on it, it will be very hard to make it work and more importantly, it’s going to put an ask/pressure on you that you maybe don’t need to. Trust your gut mum. It’s the most powerful tool when becoming a parent.
Can I afford this? Getting professional sleep support is an expense that you don’t prepare for like buying a cot or a pram. Let’s be real too. Most of us during our maternity leave are on a pretty low source of £££ and the ask of spending a few hundred pounds on this help feels excessive, perhaps avoidable or inaccessible. Sometimes it ultimately comes down to priorities. How much does getting everyone to sleep cost to you? What is most important at that point in your life? Can you cut your spending in other areas for a month or two to save some money or do you need to wait a month to save up or when you look at things, do you think you just don’t need the 1:1 support? Talking dollars is never comfortable, however choosing to pay for sleep support needs to be weighed up. I am one for a pro’s and con’s list. Good old pen and paper will allow you to visually weigh up your choice.
The biggest take away I’d love for you to get from this blog is to feel a little more comfortable with your own choice. The power of unwanted influence from others when you become a parent can be so overwhelming. Take comfort in knowing you know your baby best and choosing to work on sleep, or just as importantly, not, is 100% your decision as parents.
