The Not So Secret Tip to a Calmer Bedtime

The lead up to your little one's bedtime can often feel like the last hooray of the day. The time where you are trying to get dinner sorted, tidy up the mess from the day's events, get bath’s ready, PJs sorted, milk ready. Wow. I feel tired typing this. On top of it all, our tank is partially empty from being “on top of things” throughout the day. It catches up on you. Your energy is less, your attention span decreases and enthusiasm is almost at its limit for the day and let’s be honest, you’re often just totally knackered.

So what if we could shift this mindset and introduce something that is gentle, loving and super calming for everyone? It will take commitment from you however the results of introducing this new approach before bedtime will come with positive results in abundance.

I call it “Just Us Time”. The aim of this 1:1 time with your little one (and partner or other sibling too) is to prioritize some time between dinner and bedtime where it's just you, your little one and some special bonding time. The guidance is simple and super effective: no electronics (this includes toys, TVs and mobiles), a quiet and calm setting and some gentle activities that your little one loves and can include you (think their favourite books, puzzles, building blocks etc.).

I know for many of us, the reality of introducing something like this (if we don’t already) can feel like another big ask. The important thing to note is that we are talking about a short period of time, think 15 minutes if that’s all you can offer. These 15 minutes are better than nothing and it will fill your little one's heart with so much joy and love (you're going to feel great too) and will help them start to relax and settle for a good night's sleep.

The success “Just Us Time” has given to the many families I have helped has been amazing. Many of these families previously faced bedtime battles including a lot of tears/upset, refusal/delay of bedtime, long periods lying beside little one’s bed before they would settle to sleep. This would sometimes take hours and most importantly take energy from everyone which could have been saved and invested into a great night's sleep.

I would highly recommend having a look at what your time looks like between dinner and bed and considering changing your perspective of possibly thinking “one more thing you have to do” and replacing it with “this is a lovely way to wind down for the night, for us all as a family and it’s giving me/us back time at night as we no longer have as many battles at bedtime”.

Sometimes the smallest changes have the greatest results.