Lucy Says Be Kind

I think one of the toughest parts of becoming a mum for me has been the passing judgment, constant giving of opinions and questioning how I am raising my child. Don’t get me wrong, the scales are almost balanced with love, support, praise and encouragement however it would be nicer if the good, outweighed the not so good more.

As a society, we have been raised to pass opinion, give our take on things (even when not asked - I have been guilty of this at times and am actively trying to do better) and not be so shy about judging others choices. This all makes it quite hard when you decide or realise this is not quite okay with you and you want to be different and expect different.

So how do you make the jump, change the norm and communicate/display that you would like and/or expect the same from others? Million dollar question eh?! I have started at home, with me and just me. I believe change starts at the root and you need to practice what you preach if you are to see or be the change. It is hard. So hard though. It’s breaking a life long cycle of all you have known. Learned habits that are programmed into you like brushing your teeth.

There is lots of contributing factors as to how you make the shift and how successful it is. It comes from commitment, consistency and being candidly honest with yourself and holding yourself accountable when you perhaps don’t quite get it right (we are all human and perfection is not the goal here). Take the time to understand and identify what is truly important to you, what parts of judgement, passing of opinions and non supportive behaviour really impact or affect you. Find achievable small steps and solutions to address them; like limiting/removing certain company from your life, addressing situations calmly with confidence and sharing how you feel/how you would like to be treated and finding confidence to not accept judgemental influence or passing comments that hurt or offend you.

This can all be done kindly, compassionately and without conflict. We are always in control of how we communicate and can do this with a good heart and can unfortunately not control the outcome of the response, just the way in which it is communicated. Let’s not hide from this being scary and at times, the last thing we want/feel like doing. It is so important to know though, if we want things to change, for support and kindness to trump, we have to be that way, to act that way and expect that way.

Be Kind. Be Supportive. Be Strong.