Knowing when to hit pause when working on sleep.
I won’t dress this up. Working on sleep is tough. It asks for the highest level of commitment, resilience and consistency and often at a time when you’re at your most tired and vulnerable. Does this mean it can’t be done? No. However, timing really is everything when it comes to “being successful” on your sleep mission, and being in the wrong head space, not being “ready” for the ask that comes with working on sleep or during a period of illness, really stacks the odds against you.
During my discovery calls with new clients, I always ask the same question “Are you ready to commit fully?”. I feel it’s important and right that I am this transparent and honest before providing 1:1 support. We never know how things will play out; however experience has taught me that it’s always hard before it gets easy and the commitment to things going well, comes from the parent. I am by their side 100% of the way but they are the ones who have to do the actual work, make the changes, stick to them and support the responses of their little one when doing this.
This is why knowing when to hit pause is so important. Sometimes I need to suggest it, whilst other times it comes from the parent. Either way, it will always happen if it needs to. We are about helping the whole family here at Lucys Sleep Club, not just one person and always account for the parents too, and how they are doing both mentally and physically.
Like many things in life, when the timing is right, things tend to feel easier. They may be challenging, but you are ready for it, armed with a positive outlook, even on the negatives that are thrown your way. However, when you’re not ready for such a big commitment, it can feel like climbing Everest in a pair of stilettos. Every step forward feels hard and you struggle to believe that you will ever get to the top.
With that, I always like to cover these thoughts before we press play to working on sleep. Some food for thought if you are thinking about starting to do it too.
How much do I have going on in my life just now?
Working on sleep takes total commitment, consistency and focus for at least 2 weeks, even longer if you prefer a slower approach. Having a lot on, i.e., holidays, visitors, work, events, other commitments, will make things feel even harder. When working on sleep it can feel all-consuming whilst you drive change. This is temporary and pretty much a non-negotiable if you want sustainable results. Having a really empty schedule when you are predominantly at your home is the best time to do it.
How do I feel both mentally and physically?
If you’ve decided it’s time to work on sleep, it’s likely things aren’t great. You’re most likely knackered, sleep deprived to varying degrees, lacking confidence and feeling overwhelmed and confused as to what the hell to do to make things better. Unfortunately, all of these feelings tend to be one if not all, of the side effects of parenting. However, the extent of what you are feeling these does matter.
Feeling very low or depressed, having extreme anxiety or feeling exceptionally overwhelmed at the thought of having to commit to something fully, indicates that you need to take care of you first. Put some changes in place and see if they help you feel any better. Prioritizing your health first is so important.
Is my little one unwell/awaiting diagnosis?
This is really important. If your little one is unwell, don’t work on sleep. The odds are against you and also, they need to rest and recover and working on sleep needs to wait until they are better. Also, if your little one is experiencing troubles that are awaiting testing, currently undergoing treatment, now also isn’t the best time to work on sleep.
Health conditions and illnesses (seasonal/long term) can greatly contribute to sleep problems and at times, be the root cause of the problem itself. Sometimes you just have to wait and let it run its course or follow the right treatment path in helping the problem before fully understanding if there is actually a problem with their sleep.
