Does your little one’s sleep need a check up?

“My door is always open and if things take a turn for the worse or you’ve no idea what’s going on, please reach out and let me know and we will get it sorted”.

This is how I end my last call when I finish my 1:1 support with my clients . I know too well that working on sleep does not finish when we finish our support, it just gets easier. Until you’re possibly stumped again and need a wee “sleep check up”.

A “sleep check up” can be needed for many reasons; you’ve had some big changes in your live i.e. retuning to work, moving home, little one starting nursery etc. or often, nap transitions and developmental progress (mainly the jump from baby to toddler) has thrown a seriously unwelcomed curveball when it comes to your little ones sleep.

Life is busy and it’s so easy to not be able to see the woods for the trees when things are tough and your own sleep is being massively impacted again after having a consistent run of good sleep and feeling like you’ve nailed a pretty solid routine for your little one. So what the hell to do? Run for the hills? Just accept it as your new normal…eh, no way! So what then? Well, it takes a little bit of detective work, problem solving and ultimately, taking things back to basics. A simple pen and paper exercise. Yes, you heard me and no, its not the 1980’s.

When my clients come back to me, I ask the same questions every time. I get them to go away and answer them and send them to me. Now they may type them, however , if you are doing this solo, without a coach who can help analyse, I would encourage you to write it on good pen and paper as the reason and answer to your little ones sleep challenge may just jump out to you on that sheet of paper. A sheet of paper doesn’t get notifications, it doesn’t tempt you to access your social media, send a text or even phoning someone. It’s a blank canvas, a space to seriously place your true thoughts and look for solutions and answers out with distraction or external influence.

Often your answers will lie here or even some things to try. People are often too quick to go looking for someone else to provide the answers when they haven’t done the groundwork themselves. Not always, but often, and frequently because they’re completely knackered and the thought of doing this feels like climbing Everest. But…and a big but.I encourage you to give this a try, actually take the time to write down the answers to these questions and see if you can think of 1. why this is happening/what could be causing it? and 2. what could you do/try, to make it better.

Is this easy? No. But sleep is both complex and simple. It takes time and effort to understand it, but once you grasp the basics, things become a lot clearer (I’m doing myself out of a job here :D). Give it a shot. Nothing to loos, everything to gain. This is a exercise to keep in your bad pocket as sleep my friends is never linear and pretty changeable in those first few years of life, so could to get used to having a look at what’s going on, why it’s happening and what to do to make it better.

Sleep Check Up - Questions

Write out a sleep diary for a week and include the below info (you’ll be looking to see if things are possibly inconsistent, lacking routine, wake windows are too big/short, too much day or night sleep/not enough)

What’s currently happening/what are the main challenges?

Be clear on this. To fix things, you really need to look for and identify what is currently going on (i.e. resisting nap/naps, fighting bedtime, regular wakes throughout night, very heighted behaviour, highly emotional at times of sleep to name a few).

Wake up time for the day/mood when waking?

Are they waking at 7am one day, 8am the next? A consistent wake time regulates the body clock and set’s us up for a great day, especially if we still require naps. This can be a s seriously quick win. A sleep in or a better day of naps? The choice is yours.

Naps/time of day and durations/mood when waking?

Mood is everything. Focusing on purely naptime over how they wake will often let you down, especially if you have a cat napper. If you’re little one is waking happy, engaged and thriving in their development, there is a good chance they are meeting their unique sleep needs with the amount of sleep they are taking, even if that’s only for 30 mins at a time.

Bedtime - what time (actually going into cot)/behaviour in the hour or so before bed/bedtime routine/how long is it taking for then to go to sleep/how are you settling them?

Our little ones have there own ways of telling us what’s wrong. If they are overtired, they’ll typically be hyped up, resistant on bed through being hyper or distressed. Don’t confuse this with not wanting to sleep, they want to sleep, they’re just too tired to get there. Review your last wake window before bed, check its not too long and sometimes pulling bedtime early to avoid overtiredness can be all it needs.

Night wakes/times durations/how are they when waking/mood/how are you settling them back to sleep?

Night wakes can present themselves in so many forms, false starts, frequent waking throughout the night and split nights, to name a few. These all happen for many reasons. You want to work out what the type of night wake is and then you’ll be able to read up on why they types of wakes happen and how you can possible look to fix them. Education and knowledge is power when it comes to sleep. Avoid looking for solutions before actually understanding what the problem is.

Health - any illnesses/health concerns of recent/teething etc. 

The rule book needs to get shut when this is on the cards. We feel crap when sick and sleep unfortunately is often impacted. We are our littles one’s regulators and safe space and in times of illness, they need extra TLC and connection and sleep, might be just a little bit rubbish and off routine and this is okay. Give it time for them to get better and get back to your routine when they are on the mend. Babies are adaptable and a week or so of a break in routine will impacted sleep a little but will fall back into place if you are super consistent again when they are better.

Diet - any changes in eating habits recently?

Our diet impacts sleep massively. A drop/change in appetite can lead to genuine night wakes because of hunger. An increase in sugar, can and often will, impact bedtime if taken too late in the day. Being hyper isn’t necessarily the best pathway towards being calm and settled for bed.

Emotion and connection - are you experiencing heightened behaviour throughout the day as well as night? Have you noticed an increase in their separation anxiety? How much time are you getting 1:1 with them? Have there been any big changes at home/nursery recently?

Our little one’s are often telling us that they need/want more attention from us, that their cup needs filled in some way or that they are struggling with a recent change. Take the time to review this as an increase in 1:1 time often be a game changer when it comes to improving bedtime/night wakings.