Control what you can control and let go of what you cannot - is this easier said than done? The Bite-Size Blog Series

I love having at least some idea of what my day is going to look like and know that I have some degree of control over how well things will play out. Don’t get me wrong I also love spontaneity, although when it comes to my sons sleep, I like to stick the “plan” that gives us the best outcome sleep wise.

I’ll admit, when I first had my son, I was obsessed with working exactly to plan/having as much control over things as possible (hello Huckleberry) and had very little place for wiggle room, or for coping with when things went balls up, which when it comes to babies, happens regularly.

As time passed, my sleep anxiety ramped up, cueing the point I trained to be a sleep coach. Quickly I learned about sleep and the influence we have on it when it comes to others sleep and I started to relax and ultimately became very comfortable with the mindset of “controlling what you can control and letting go of what you can’t”. Let me explain what I mean by this.

Controlling what you can control

This includes: routine, consistency, sleep hygiene, food/milk intake, external influences, sleep environment, daily activity/exposure to development opportunities.

We as parents have a degree of control when it comes to these factors and can make both positive or negative choices that will either benefit or impact sleep. This is where you want to pay attention, learn and understand what’s working well, what needs improving or where you could “test the water”.

Letting go of what you can’t control

This includes: Illness, teething, growth spurts, developmental linked sleep regressions (learning/practising a new skill/dropping a nap etc.), when others are caring for them and not doing what you have advised, nursery (to some degree), increased stimulation from more exposure to the world (i.e. when they used to sleep anywhere and now the world is just too exciting to fall asleep in busy environments).

All of these are near impossible for you to control or plan for. Yes, you can support some of them by having a good age appropriate routine and being consistent, however trying to control them will leave you stressed and anxious and often feeling like there’s a problem when in fact, it’s just an element of life.

Just some food for thought and hopefully, if you’re currently in a “letting go of what you can’t control” moment, this will give you a little reassurance that this is perhaps normal and shall pass.